Letter to everyone, positives for ME!!!!

My Girlfriend posted a blog earlier today, telling everyone to blog about their warm fuzzies, about strengths, what makes them great people, the positives that make them, them.

I then realized how difficult this task would actually be. It's hard to find the positives, when you seem to spend your entire life having everyone around you criticize, ridicule, and tear you apart. You can only spend so long denying what they are saying, and in a just telling them off, until slowly but surely you start to believe the things they are saying, before you start to think of yourself the way which seems like the entire worlds thinks of you.

You have a hard time making friends, they say your annoying, they say your no good, and worthless.

You have your teachers who don't take the time to help and instead just tell you your lazy, stupid, and good for nothing.

You have guys telling you your to fat, your to ugly, your only a lesbian because you can't handle what they've got, your a slut, your a whore.

You have girls who tell you your nasty, your wrong, your a fag, dyke, butch.

You have your mom who expects you to turn out like your drug addict, alcoholic, stripping sister, that you'll never amount to anything, your a failure, that you will never be good enough.

You have counselors who tell you your crazy because you act out, or aren't acting "normal" and try to drug you "normal".

But this blog isn't about the negatives, this blog is a letter, a letter to everyone who has spoken bad to me, or to others about me.

Here's to the people who denied my friendship, who said i was to annoying, well guess what, its your loss, i am the friend you always wish you had, the careing, considerate, sincere, heartfelt, loving, listener that you will never find in a friend, because they only come around every so often, and you passed on my invitation to friendship.

Here's to the teachers who told me i was lazy and didn't listen, the truth is i listened to every word you spoke, and the problem wasn't my listening, it's not being taught how i need to learn, i was an exceptional student, i cared very much about my work, and i did amazing with the opportuities i was given.

Here's to the guys that told me i was fat, ugly, slut, and couldn't handle what they have got. I am far from fat, i'm not a twig but i am as perfect as an imperfect being can be, i am not a slut, i am so proud of myself, as many lesbians have given in to and tried sleeping with a guy i never have, i am a gold star lesbian, i didn't get sexually active until i was seventeen years old and not until i was in a relationship, and the reason i am a lesbian has nothing to do with the package you carry, it's because i need to show women how they're really suppose to be treated.

Here's to the girls who told me i was wrong, gross and nasty, I am not wrong, and if that was only said because you were straight and i was talking to you, listen to this, just because your female doesn't mean everyone has a thing for you and just because i'm a lesbian doesn't mean i have a thing for every women. I am not nasty i am beautiful in my own ways, i am sweet, i am tender, i am the greatest me i can be.

Here is to my mother, I AM NOT MY SISTER, i am your other daughter, i have achieved so much i have done my best, i have succeeded, i am not a fialure, I am wonderful, i am great, i have the ability to connect with people in ways others can't imagine, i am and will become all you failed to see and help me be when i was younger. I am smart, i am a winner, i am more then even i thought i could be.

Here is to all those counselors, and psychiatrists, that thought another medication would help, who were only worried about getting paid. I'm not crazy, i'm not normal, i don't want to be normal, i am me, i'm not like everyone else and i love that about myself. Normal is a matter of opinion, and right now my opinion is the only one that matters. I wouldn't be the way i am if i had taken your opinion and i love who i am.

Here is to everyone, Never listen to the negative. It's not worth your time to listen to the negative. The positive is what matters, so remember your beautiful, amazing, wonderful, smart, interesting, loving, and everything those people who are talking negative wish they could be.

I am, all of those things and more, i have a heart full of love, and open arms to all who need them, i am the best me, and the only me i can and will be, and thats good enough. . . . no wait thats great enough for me.

A-RAE