Picture Perfect

Fake a smile, take a picture, and then its back to reality? Everyone can look picture perfect, i mean add some nice cloths, a smile, and a sweet pose, and its perfect. . . picture perfect! But reality is, is that nobody, no family, no couple, no lifestyle, nothing is perfect . . . but it sure can look that way!

Behind the smiles, Behind the nice cloths, and the sweet pose, are imperfections, everyone has them, the key is to face them. But what one see's as an imperfections, others may not.

• Me being gay is an imperfection to some but to me being gay is perfect, i would make a very bad heterosexual!!!
• My hair being short could be an imperfection, it is great to me though.
• I can be stubborn
• Emotional
• Temperamental
• Crazy
• Loving
• Needy
• Optimist
• Sarcastic

All these things could be imperfections, but thats the thing about love. . . No matter how imperfect you may be the power of love is to see an imperfect person perfectly. . . You have got to love someone to deal with the over barring, hostile, crazy aspets of a relationship with someone. I know my girlfriend puts up with some s**t with me, but she loves me anyway and i love her!!!!!!

Things get rough, things get hard, but facing, dealing, and accepting what happens is a way to a healthy relationship. Turning away, not talking about, yelling instead of just talking doesn't fix the problem nor do you get a chance to face whats bothering you, which lets things bottle up and get out of hand.

EVERYONE can look picture perfect but EVERYONE has imperfections!!!

Thanks A-RAE

Scared!!!

Life is scary! There are so many questions that will never be answered! What do i want to be when i grow up? Whats considered grown up? Where will i be in two years, where will i be in five years, where will i be in ten years? What will become of me? Will i have kids, will i get married, will love last? Am i strong enough to deal with whatever is thrown my way? Will i be happy? What will i regret if anything? What mistakes will i make? Will i go to college? Will i figure out what i want to go to school for? Will i succeed? Will i fail? Where will my niece be, how will she be, what will she be doing? Will i do my best by the kids? Will i make a good mother? Will i travel? Will i every sky dive?

I mean i could just go on and on. . . Life is scary and i think that is a large part of why people fail, if you don't face it you can't succeed. I'm afraid i won't succeed, i'm afraid of failure. On the outside everything with me looks fine, i have happiness i have love, but deep inside i'm scared i'm honestly petrified, i'm scared to death of what the future holds, what i will be, if i will be good enough.

I know i know i only have to be good enough for myself, but thats worse pressure then having to be great for everyone else, my standards are so much higher for myself, when i believe its good it has to be done better it has to be great! Its not good enough if its not great, I want to be great, fantastic, amazing, great, it may be an unattainable goal but i will always reach for that, because one day when the impossible happens it will be that much more worth it.

Its the journey to the destination that scares me, then there is the problem of once you get to your success how to keep yourself successful, what if i make it then i fail, what if i push so hard and just fall short of my goal, what if, what if, what if?????

The fact of life is there will ALWAYS be what if's ALWAYS! Everyone is scared, what they are scared about may be different but everyone is afraid of something to do with life. . . and thats ok!!!!

I know i need to let my guard down, push myself, hope for the best and expect the worst, because the only thing worse then trying and failing is not trying at all. I need to be strong, and do my best, because if you do your best you can never fail. . . .

Well there's a few random thoughts for the day!!!

THANKS A-Rae

Life just is. . .

Life just is. . . life is complicated, scary, amazing, frustrating, life just is all of these things and so much more. . . Everybodies life is different, everybodies life is normal, everybody is somebody, and just being somebody is great!

I am somebody, You are somebody, The girl you saw walking down main street two weeks ago that you don't remember seeing is somebody, you may not know what kind of somebody they are but they are somebody, somebodies sister, daughter, mother, aunt, cousin, grandmother, friend, teacher, partner, it doesn't matter they were, they are somebody as are you and me!

Everybodies life is normal, normal yes i said normal, and if you question that this is what i mean. . . normal is what you make it, normal is what you are used to, normal is whatever anybody wants normal to be, because to you, and to me they may not seem normal but to them, to their lifestyle they are normal and who are we, who is anybody to judge normal, because honestly to those people that may be judged and questioned about how normal they are, we may not be normal, we may be weird, strange, or even out of the ordinary?

Honestly who is to judge anybody on anything, the color of there skin, whether there male or female, and my biggest is the sexual orientation of others. Who somebody is with is nobody elses business, the only difference between a straight relationship and one between two men or two women is what happens behind the bedroom doors and it nobody elses business. I am dying for an answer to this question of mine, " Why do a bunch of straight men, and women, or anybody for the matter get to vote whether or not a gay/lesbian couple can get married, did they get to vote whether the straight couple should have that opportunity?" don't get me wrong i don't oppose straight couples i just don't see why they get more rights then everybody else, and "If there is freedom of religion why do they base what marriage is about on what the bible says?" Anyway enough of me babbling on about that lets find something else. . .

Alright here we go, i guess with this being my first blog i should tell you about myself well more or less how i see myself!

• I make sense to me, and that is the only person i need to make sense to
• I am honest
• I choose to do what i believe is best not necessarily what turns out to be the best
• I care about others more then i care about myself, and my feelings
• I am outgoing
• I am up for anything
• I would do anything for anyone if they needed me, even take a bullet for my worst enemy
• I am a lesbian
• I am very emotional
• I am starting to love myself more fully but its a pcocess
• I love meeting new people
• I am who i am, i don't change for anyone
• I avoid judging people because i don't want people judging me
• I have no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life, but that will come with time
• I know i will be great one day, and i'll be ready when that day comes
• I believe life just is. . . it just is how it will be

The world keeps spinning no matter what happened to you, no matter who's life was tragically taken, no matter where you are or what your doing, the world is always spinning. There is no need in worrying about anything you cannot control, it won't change it. Life just is. . . it is how you make it, or in some cases how you don't. Just be true, honest and real to yourself, do your best, try your hardest, and you'll never have to regret anything.

All is fair in love and war, all unfair in life!

Thanks A-Rae