Scared!!!

Life is scary! There are so many questions that will never be answered! What do i want to be when i grow up? Whats considered grown up? Where will i be in two years, where will i be in five years, where will i be in ten years? What will become of me? Will i have kids, will i get married, will love last? Am i strong enough to deal with whatever is thrown my way? Will i be happy? What will i regret if anything? What mistakes will i make? Will i go to college? Will i figure out what i want to go to school for? Will i succeed? Will i fail? Where will my niece be, how will she be, what will she be doing? Will i do my best by the kids? Will i make a good mother? Will i travel? Will i every sky dive?

I mean i could just go on and on. . . Life is scary and i think that is a large part of why people fail, if you don't face it you can't succeed. I'm afraid i won't succeed, i'm afraid of failure. On the outside everything with me looks fine, i have happiness i have love, but deep inside i'm scared i'm honestly petrified, i'm scared to death of what the future holds, what i will be, if i will be good enough.

I know i know i only have to be good enough for myself, but thats worse pressure then having to be great for everyone else, my standards are so much higher for myself, when i believe its good it has to be done better it has to be great! Its not good enough if its not great, I want to be great, fantastic, amazing, great, it may be an unattainable goal but i will always reach for that, because one day when the impossible happens it will be that much more worth it.

Its the journey to the destination that scares me, then there is the problem of once you get to your success how to keep yourself successful, what if i make it then i fail, what if i push so hard and just fall short of my goal, what if, what if, what if?????

The fact of life is there will ALWAYS be what if's ALWAYS! Everyone is scared, what they are scared about may be different but everyone is afraid of something to do with life. . . and thats ok!!!!

I know i need to let my guard down, push myself, hope for the best and expect the worst, because the only thing worse then trying and failing is not trying at all. I need to be strong, and do my best, because if you do your best you can never fail. . . .

Well there's a few random thoughts for the day!!!

THANKS A-Rae